Inside The Game
by Shyrstyne
Summary: Lloyd's thoughts about being inside the game among various other things, and how no one else knows. Inspired by the skit where Lloyd complains about not having a quick jump option. Complete
1. Lloyd

**Inside The Game**

Written by: Me

Done: March 21, 2006

My pathetic attempt at humor. Inspired by the one skit where Lloyd complains about not having a quick jump option. If you think I own anything your off your rocker and out of the province entirely. I own nothing

**Inside The game**

I was talking to Genis and Raine about not having the quick jump for all those damned stairs and then I find out that they have no idea about these people that control everything we do. It's sort of creepy actually. Well, they control us most of the time, so I guess I shouldn't say all, but it still feels very invasive.

I was going to ask dad… Kratos about it, but I sort of forgot until after I'd sent him to Derris Kharlan… What? After Mithos you would too!

Well, I went asking around after and found that I was the only one who knows about these creepy people. Maybe I'm going crazy…. No, every time we went through those sewers we would just appear at the other side. Same went for the forest at the Elvin village. Nobody else seemed to think it was weird though…

Hey!

Whoever likes controlling me isn't very good at it…

They keep moving me in the complete opposite direction of the enemy…

Don't butcher my double demon fang like that!

The weirdest part is the end of the game. We all sort of continued on with our lives, but I don't even know what I named the great seed! Every time someone says it, it blurs until I have no idea what they said.

This is so not fair!

Also, whoever is controlling us like this likes making fun of us. We were at the most serious part of the game (don't ask me how I know, I've accepted this long ago) and Regal was dresses up in his cook's outfit. Nobody else noticed, so I did my best not to laugh, though it was seriously hard. He was dressed up as a cook! For the most dramatic point in the entire game!

'_Knowing Lloyd, he'll probably get bored of it right away…_'

I'm getting random thoughts again… Hey, wait a minute! I do not get bored that easily! Do I?

Okay, so maybe I do, but I do know that these people are getting a serious laugh out of this… (Talking about Regal's outfit at the end)

I know my dad got controlled a lot during the game, and Zelos and Presea a couple times, just by the way they changed fighting styles sometimes. I got controlled the entire time though. Lucky me…

They still didn't know what I was talking about though.

I had suspicions after the end though, after I started putting the pieces together after everything was done.

Kratos came in way stronger than us, but we all tripled that by the end of the game. The math doesn't add up (No, I did not ask Genis to help me this time!). Kratos also didn't 'learn' Judgment until the very end. Considering he's had four thousand years to get stronger, he was pretty weak in the beginning.

Maybe he was holding back…. Hmmm…

Going back to what we're here for, I know that they didn't watch us sleep or anything, just by the way I don't remember ever going to sleep. Approach bed, time jump; suddenly be facing the other way feeling very refreshed.

I have a serious bone to pick with these people though. I know for a fact that they chose to kill off Zelos just to have Da- Kratos back in the party. How dare they kill off my friend! I was glad to have Kratos back too, but did they have to kill my friend?

People have no respect! We're people too you know!

Ah, well. At least we didn't get a single 'game over' screen this time. I hate them. We all get stuck in this black room with absolutely nothing in it until the game restarts. Nobody does anything, they just sit there, really creepy actually.

This time was a multiplayer, so there was always two of us being controlled. I'm pretty sure it was usually Kratos or me. I was getting sick of single player anyways… this'll be the seventh time the one has played this, but only the first for the person controlling me. (Which would explain why they were so bad at playing me)

How do I know this? I have no freaking clue, and it's driving me nuts!

The thoughts'll just drift through my head and suddenly they will start making sense. I was going to ask the professor about it, but then decided not to (for obvious reasons).

Why do I keep making the same mistakes if I know I've done this entire thing several times? I already told you, I'm being controlled! I don't have a choice in the matter!

It really sucks you know? I don't get to live my own life until after the damn game ends! And even then that's only until the next time these people decide to replay the game.

I could point out everything on my huge list of things that annoy me about this, but that would take forever, and it would probably get boring before long…

The graphics (We're one step above 2-D! It's really awkward sometimes), the occasional scream (Which were absolutely terrible. Mine was the only half decent one, and, no offense to Presea, but I think hers was probably the worst), the dubbing on a lot of us (excluding myself of course- Jeez, I sound like Zelos… poor dead Zelos…), the unrealism (meaning that they needed to add in more anime scenes), the way they mocked me a lot… (Grrr… I am not stupid!)

Yup, the list goes on and on, but I'm bored.

Oooh look, a bird…

**End**

Ehehe… forgive me if that was out of character. I tried to cut down on the big words as much as possible seeing as it was Lloyd, but I kept having to go through again and again to make sure he stayed the way he was supposed to be.

My first real attempt at humor. I usually go for the general type story (when I'm writing. Reading is a whole different story. Humor all the way!), but I figured that I might try my hand at the funnies.

When I first played the game that one skit kept bugging at me…. And bugging at me… until I had to write something. (I would have played it more as well… If I owned it… I really hate not owning it…)

I'm not the greatest at gaming (seeing as how the only gaming system we own is several computers), but I'm still the best in my house (Dad is about my level, maybe a little better, depending on the game.) so I made a few jabs at my playing ability in there…

Lloyd's my favorite character, but I may have gone overboard in trying to keep him in character..

Let's not forget Kratos… The almighty Kratos… Bow before the Kratos…

I should do one of these for Kratos…. But I don't know what I would put….

I hate vague ideas, they can be great ideas, but they're not solid enough to put in writing…

IAWDWI signing off


	2. Kratos

**Inside The Game**

Written by: Me!

Started: March 31, 2006

Well, someone liked it. That's a start. Now we're going to do the same thing with Kratos without repeating OR making too serious (which is basically what Kratos is.)

Well... This is gonna be a challenge… I make no promises on this one.

**Inside The Game: Kratos**

I believe there are few who realize that we are being used as some weird, psychotic form of entertainment for a bunch of odd people who have no lives. I have spoken to people around the world and none seem to know, so I wonder if I am the only one who knows about this. I know I am not insane. But honestly, who derives pleasure from repeatedly playing the same game whilst consistently torturing the characters within? (Do not answer that)

I find that there is an amazing amount of girls playing this game compared to the male gender... There are boys playing this game, certainly, but it seems that girls have this odd tendency to play the game several times on end. I wonder why?

Also, don't ask me how I know these things. It's much like fortune telling, where images pop into your head for no real reason.

Hmm… I sounded a little like Lloyd there. Have to work on that.

The only good thing about the game would have to be the fact that, once the game restarts, I get to get off Derris Kharlan, which is great because the place gets rather boring really fast.

Lloyd must really be wearing off on me..

I can't say why, but I believe that Lloyd may know we are in a game as well. He was laughing at Regal's outfit that no one else noticed for one, and I overheard him complaining about the lack of quick jumps once. No, I was NOT eavesdropping! Gives shifty glance. So he may be one of the few who realize this atrocity, which is amazing in itself.

I wonder whether Yuan also knows about this game world we live in. If he doesn't, I imagine how he would react to having, 'Fangirls' I believe they are called, chase him around trying to steal his cape. Though I believe one or two want to try and cut his hair and take his ponytail as a 'souvenir' I don't know why they want these things, but I think I may not want to know.

I, personally, think that Yuan would look a lot less girly if he cut his hair, but he seems oddly attached to it. I offered to cut it for him once as a favor and he refused to speak to me for the rest of the week.

Though I suppose, in comparison to Mithos, Yuan doesn't look so girly. 'Tall, dark, menacing and extremely girly…' I believe Lloyd once said, shortly afterwards. And in his 'adult' form, I have to say he was. Having known him for several thousand years though, I had just started to ignore it. He REALLY needed a haircut. But I wasn't going to offer. (He was insane for one, and might have killed me had IÖ I think it's something Yuan and Mithos share in common. An extreme attachment to their hair…)

I also wonder why, at the end of the game, after I had rejoined the party, these girls controlling us (I now know that they are, indeed, girls) insisted on making me wear my Judgment outfit for some odd reason. I do not really like the thing; it's a huge pain to put on in the morning. Well? Look at all the belts! I have to do up each one separately! Coughs

Anyways, as I was pondering why I had n to wear the cursed thing, the word 'Attractive' slipped slowly and clearly through my mind, thoroughly scarring me for life. However, seeing as how I was still standing with the group, I barely managed to keep a straight face. I did not want someone to ask me what was wrong, as I may have let it slip in trying to maintain a sane mind.

Knowing I had my own set of crazed Fangirls was no comfort for me, and I finally decided not to tell Yuan about his, saving him from emotional scarring. I thought I was being nice.

Granted, other people in this world have their own fans, but it seems that Yuan and myself have the most. Now we shall move to a different topic before I scar myself more than I already am.

These girls also seem to be fairly sadistic people when it comes to their obsession. They killed one of the characters (The annoying chosen, Zelos) just to have me back in their group, so I don't think they realize that we are people as well.

Now, after saying that, I get more insight into these peoples lives (Yay. Not.), and find that, while they killed Zelos, the one did show a little sympathy, and whimpered a little when Botta drowned (Even though it wasn't even actually shown). I would say that it was because they just didn't like Zelos, but they weren't exactly fans of Botta either, so I'm not sure what to say. The other, having played the game several times, was indifferent.

Another odd thing I've noticed while going about this world is that, when you acquire an item or something, it disappears until you need it again. I once tried to see what happened to these things as we pick them up, but only ended up in a coma for several days. I've now learned to leave such things alone.

Unfortunately it was Yuan who found me while I was in said coma, and after I woke up, he, of course, wanted to know how I ended up like that, and I didn't exactly want to tell him. I'd had enough embarrassment issues for the day.

I did eventually manage to get away without giving an answer, but I don't think I'll ever really hear the end of it. I just hope he doesn't ever tell Lloyd and his group about that whole experience. Me being found unconscious in the woods is unfortunately good blackmail material.

On another note, I really hate those bubble things that appear above our heads when we are speaking. They are annoying, and get in the way. It annoys me even more as I realize that no one else has noticed these huge, clunky things hovering around us. I should just take them someday and use Judgment on them.

Inside The Game

Finished: May 1, 2006

Well, after taking weeks/months to start this, and then running out of ideas half way through, and the main character being Kratos (Whose entire personality does not really constitute humour) I don't think it turned out half bad…

Saying that with extreme caution…

Second try at humour, which is still my excuse for it not being as funny as I'd like it to be.

So, basically, more ranting, more possible out-of-characterness, and more all around weirdness.

One of the good things about writing this (for me) was more use of my vocabulary, though that may have even brought it down somewhat…

More jabs at me and my friend, though not completely truthful from our point of view.. It was supposed to be Kratos after all.

I can only hope you enjoyed it somewhat.

IAWDWI signing off


	3. Anna

**Inside The Game**

Written by: Me

Started: May 3, 2006

Right, so I was going to just stop with Kratos, but with a couple of awesome reviews and some inspiration, I finally decided I might as well do more. The only problem I foresee is repeating myself with different characters. I was going to do Mithos or Yuan with this chapter, but a healthy dose of inspiration and a few good ideas (kudos to **Royal Fanatic**), and I decided to do Anna instead.

Still trying hard to stick to the humour genre…

**Inside The Game: Anna**

There are some advantages that come with being dead… Don't get me wrong, I would much rather be down with my Kratos and Lloyd (He's grown up to be such a big boy now sniffles ) but there are some perks. First, no health problems. No annoying colds, no fevers, and no expheres (they itched, really and truly. I don't know Kratos was able to stand all those years with them). Next, I get to see everything that's going on down on the world with my husband and Lloyd (along with some other, not so pleasant things).

Of course, this also meant that I knew about the game being developed in a whole other world, and all the other things… associated with it. This means I know about all you people chasing after my boys, and I tell you I WILL NOT HAVE IT! Fumes

Kratos is securely off limits and anyone for Lloyd would need my official seal of approval before they can do anything!

Well, going back to the whole 'game' topic, it sort of annoys me that I didn't get shown at all. Not even a picture of me! Everybody else got fair parts… Sure, there was the locket, but it never got shown, so I feel a little neglected. Nonetheless, I've seen some pretty odd depictions of me around these 'fanart' places. What's even scarier is that some people got a couple small details right (nothing's ever exact. It's hard to draw someone you've never seen or never got a description of).

Speaking of 'fan' works, I'm going to just lightly skim over the topic of fanfiction lest I go off the deep end…

Some of them are so far fetched it's hard to believe that someone came up with the stuff, some isn't _bad, _and I seriously doubt my Kratos would ever like anyone except me in that way. Gives warning glance around rabid fangirls that are trying to be inconspicuous

Sighs Dumb fans. The rabid ones are the ones you really notice, but the others are just your average, run-of-the-mill fans that don't jump on your husband every time he goes out. I was watching when Kratos and Lloyd were talking about their awareness of this game, and they don't seem to realize that this second set of fangirls exists. Though it's probably because it's usually only the rabid ones trying to pounce on them all the time.

Poor Yuan. He's got it worst next to my dearest. I met the man only a couple times before I died, and he was fairly nice, if a bit girly. If he cut his hair, it wouldn't be so bad, but Kratos seemed to think this was a bad idea, so I didn't offer. The fans are always 'chasing' him. Of course, seeing as how we're in a game, they can't physically chase him, but I can see where it could scar someone terribly (in a psychological sense).

I only ever saw this Mithos/Yggdrasil guy once before I died (saw him plenty after), when he came to 'visit' me after I had my exphere implanted. (Another good thing about dieing, no more itching!) That guy REALLY needed a haircut. I swear when I first saw him I thought he was a girl. It wasn't till after me and Kratos were on the run did he tell me Mithos was a guy. I had been telling him about when Mythos came in to see me….

---

"_So this girl comes in and asks the ranch head if I'm the one and he says I am and-"_

"_I was unaware there was a girl among us seraphim." Him and his big vocab…_

"_Had to be a girl. Long, blonde hair, spandex, feathers everywhere. Sort of a deep voce for a girl-" I stopped when Kratos started to chuckle softly. What was so funny that I was being left out of?_

"_What?" I was definitely missing something, I wanted in!_

"_That was Mithos, Anna." I paused my pouting and blinked._

"_Mithos." I was stating the obvious… again._

"_Yes." He so bluntly answered. He was still snickering too!_

"_The big bad Cruxix leader we've been running from all this time is that?" I was blown. "We've been running from a guy who looks like he might be a girls super model?"_

----

Well… you can probably see how well THAT went over. Kratos actually laughed at me, but I, of course, was too stunned to witness this stunning event. Then again, I did get another chance when we went to the bar in Luin…

I had always wondered why Kratos showed so much aversion to alcohol, that was when I found out why. The man could not hold his wine! A trait, it seems, he has passed on to his son…

Oh, Lloyd, it's so hard to believe my little boy's already grown up so big and strong… A little air-headed at times, perhaps, but still my strong little boy. I wish I could have physically been there for him, but at least I was there in spirit! (Realizing how cliché that was) Right, well… You know what I mean.

Once/if Kratos ever gets up here I'm going to kill him! I was mad enough to slap him silly when he betrayed Lloyd and his little group. I knew he knew that that boy was our little Lloyd and he knew it! Yet he was betraying them anyways to follow the girly maniac! I was so mad…!

I had feel for poor little Lloyd. All the conflicting emotions, the unknowns… It would have had to have been terrible for him, especially when he learned that Kratos was his father. I wonder how he would have reacted had he been told before Kratos betrayed them…

I had to laugh a little when Lloyd told his father that he was like an older brother to him though. If only he had known…

And then I find out that my entire living family (namely Lloyd and Kratos) knows about this game world. Did Kratos 'forget' to tell me or something? It seems I get left out of more than just the game... Once again, I'm mad (though not as bad as then).

I also—Er… Well, it seems we've strayed completely off topic, but if we had stayed on I suppose I would've just ranted about how neglected I was.

Wait, I'm ranting anyways aren't I? Whoops…

Well, after looking around a couple more of these 'fanfiction' places, and I found people trying to characterize me. Some were just plain out funny, while others weren't actually that bad… Still, sometimes I wish things had happened… a little more peacefully. Then again, if Mithos hadn't gone insane, Kratos would never have gotten his Cruxix crystal (I think anyways) and he would never have lived long enough for me to meet him, so I'm not sure what I want really…

But I digress, and I probably bore you with my ranting… starts humming Life's just a game, Life's just a game, so let's play to the fullest, Life's just a game…

Oh, cr, I was singing out loud again wasn't I? er…

I wish the makers of this game could have at least had a flashback scene when Kratos and I got married. It was so sweet; it could have at least made some of the more sensitive girls sniffle.

It wasn't anything big, oh heck no! We were on the run remember! But it was still really nice. (And just between you and me, Kratos looks really good in a suit, even though he was fairly flustered about it)

Of course, not long after that, we had Lloyd, and he was just the sweetest little thing you ever did see! First time I ever saw Kratos cry. Once again, I missed it, simply because I was exhausted. However since Yuan, being the kind soul he is, took a couple pictures for me, I didn't completely miss it, though Kratos was a little angry over it. Those pictures are probably still in my memory box somewhere out there…

Believe me when I say that turning into a monster is _not fun_. I was more than happy when Kvar bit the dust!

At the time anyways, now he gets to annoy me all the time. He's lucky he's insubstantial or I'd ring his skinny little neck!

And another thing- Oh, whoops, times up. Maybe someday somebody'll get me right on those fanfiction places…

**Inside The Game**

Finished: May 4, 2006

I don't mean that _I_ got Anna right (her personality), but I'm trying to make it 'her' per say…

Right, well, it's in a bit of a different format this time, and it may be a bit off since I didn't exactly have a set personality to work with, and I have this subconscious tendency to try and stay on the neutral side of things (meaning I tried to stay away from the whole pairings fiasco as much as possible, with only a small reference.. well, more than that, but meh.).

Thanks to any and all who review this and especially to **Royal Fanatic** who has proven to be a fountain of inspiration on this one! Thanks. (Nay, you do not blab! And if you do, it's a good thing!)

P.S Next chapter may be a while in coming, depending on what there is for ideas, inspiration, and my all around mood (guarantee that, if I have a bad day, I probably won't be writing, and more likely to be found sleeping)

IAWDWI signing off


	4. Yuan

**Inside The Game**

Written by: Me

Started: May 4, 2006

Right, we're gonna go for Yuan now, just because he's so cool. -

**Inside The Game: Yuan**

_Renegade Base Records: Recording No. 74091 'Leaders Dilemma'_

_Date: June 25th, Year 1 of the New Age_

I have been researching for some time about these 'other worlds' where they are publicizing the last journey of regeneration and all its entails in a game for the public to play.

I am astounded at how they got this information, half of it having few witnesses. They do not seem to realize that the people they so freely talk about as if they were not real, are, in fact, real! I seem to be of the few who realize this odd waver in reality.

But the girls in this other world, they scare me, really and truly. They are obsessive, controlling, and beyond creepy. They invade my thoughts and grip my mind, even though they aren't even there, sometimes I truly wonder if I'm going insane because of these women…

They are possessive to the point of insanity, constantly wailing about how they, should they ever meet us, will take bits and pieces as 'souvenirs' of sorts and… I'm going to move on now.

These 'games' however, I think did little for my part. Granted, most of my work was behind the scenes, but it was almost appalling how much it made me seem like some sort of backstabber!

Now, I may be overreacting, but the fact remains that these games are a menace to our society! They disrupt our (or more specifically, my) peace, and I'm not even going to start on those girls again!...

It also seems that I am one of few who know about this hazard. I asked Botta and some of the other renegades some roundabout questions- a.k.a I didn't really need them thinking their leader was insane- and none of them ever dropped a hint of knowing anything about this atrocity.

I have, however, seen Kratos lock himself in his room on Derris-Kahrlan more than once muttering things about rabid fangirls. A normal person would never have been able to hear him, which is why not being totally human sometimes has its advantages.

I'm still doubtful whether I should actually straight out ask him whether he knows of this or not. Kratos actually has his own set of fangirls in this… set of worlds, which I actually saw once.

It was not a pretty sight, they tackled him right in the middle of some town or other (I'm pretty sure they have tracking devices on him), and I can only be grateful that _my _fans are on a completely different world where they can't get me.

Kratos, poor soul that he is, couldn't cast any major spell or use his sword on them for fear of a) recognition (He was getting pretty paranoid, what with being chased by Mithos after all), and b) Hurting innocent bystanders. Rescue finally came to him in the form of a very mad Anna who had just returned from shopping. Not until I got some very nice pictures though, which I intend to and have used as blackmail. It seems that Kratos has an unusual knack for attracting situations that to me say very clearly- !Warning: Possibility for use as blackmail!...

I don't think I shall ever use the word 'attractive' ever _ever_ again…

I have also had problems with people, both inside and outside of this world, that seem think I'm a girl. Honestly, I am not that feminine!

I was telling Kratos about said problem a few years back- how many, I don't remember- and he told me that if I would just 'let go of my pride and cut my hair, the problems should stop'. Then he offered to cut it for me, subsequently followed by Anna, who had been eavesdropping, telling him that it wouldn't make a difference, and that it was my eyes and all around slim build that made me look like a girl.

I promptly left after that, and made it a priority to avoid them as much as possible until I had calmed down marginally….

I do not have a feminine build!

Kratos just says I'm in denial, and continuously taunts me with those pictures Anna took a few years back when some grunt tried to grope me in a bar… That night will still haunt me for centuries to come….

**Outside the screen he is typing on, the half-elf stops a moment before giving a long shudder. Then, his eyes never leaving the screen, returns to his writing**

I have also become aware of others who seem to have noticed, but so many odd things have happened that I have come to doubt whether they actually know, or it's something else I don't know about.

Of course, I would by no means rant this much about such trivial things in public, but I've been a bit stressed lately and the terminal happened to be handy.

I also have confidence in my newly upgraded security system. The flaws in the old one were painfully obvious, but the renegades could never really afford a complete revamp. Only recently, once Yggdrasil was defeated and they all got legal jobs, I managed to scrounge up enough money to upgrade.

Too bad we didn't have that money a while back. It would helped a lot with all the break-ins (and outs) we had…

Contrary to belief, it was rather hard coming up with money to pay for things. How do you think we became so adept at sneaking around? More often than not, we had to resort to stealing. Yes, money was a rather inconvenient problem, not helped by the fact that we were doing Yggdrasil's every bid and will and he wasn't paying us a cent.

It wasn't so bad for Kratos; he got money for his mercenary jobs, but me? I didn't get anything. Hence the scrounging.

It wasn't always so bad, I suppose, it got marginally better when Kratos mistakenly found out and, being the oh-so-kind man he is started splitting the money he earned with me. Of course, that ended when he got with Anna and had to feed himself, her, and her cravings.

I didn't want to intrude that much anyways…

. 

Finished: June 17, 2006

I…….. Have nothing to say in my defense.

Well, I do, but I still feel like I'm the scum of the author world.

First, I got a new computer right? Nice, new, snazzy G4 (compared to my rather sucky Imac..). No problem right? As if. I start transferring all my personals via Ethernet from one computer to the other and poof! I thought I was done.

Haha. Not.

I left every single one of my stories behind, and I could have sworn I dragged that little file to my new desktop! Sworn!

But alas, I had to wait in and around a month waiting for dad to hook up the Imac again (which had been disconnected with the thought of moving to dad's 'lab' and never being used in the 'real' world again. I would have hooked it up myself (instructions: pick up plug. Plug into wall. Do what you want), but for the mass (and I say that literally) of wires were the plug in's used to be (generally what happens when you have four+ computers all with Ethernet, two with internet, speakers, and more in a room that was originally intended as a very large walk in closet).

Guilt bit at me every second, because I get very annoyed when authors don't update for years on end.

It didn't help that I ran out of idea's for this chapter at about 800 words. Then the floodgates opened!... And promptly closed again after finishing this pathetically short chapter.

The author's note is longer than the chapter. How sad can I get?

I'm really, really sorry! ;;

IAWDWI signing off

P.S. There won't be any more chapters unless I hit a major inspiration cookie. I've completely run out of ideas. If you have a couple good ideas, feel free to send them to me. I've run out. Thanks.


	5. Zelos

**Inside The Game**

Written by: Me

Started: July 21, 2006

Well… I said I wouldn't start another one unless I got some major inspiration….

Er… I wouldn't call it inspiration, per se, but I did get an idea! ; Yeah, I'm hopeless. No need to tell me.

**Inside The Game: Zelos**

They killed me! THEY MARTEL DAMNED KILLED ME!

Coughs Sorry Martel, hunnie…

**Thwump!**

Coughs again

The worst part is that I didn't even know about this whole 'game thing' until _after _I died. No one felt the need to tell me, no one had enough sympathy to tell me _before _I lost all my gorgeous hunnies. And now I watch as everybody else ponders their existence and the fact that they live in a game, while I fester away up here with a bunch crazy's…

**Thwump!** I'm sorry Lloyd's Mom! I'm sorry I'm sorry! (At this point, Zelos can be seen cowering in a corner that seems to have popped up of nowhere as Anna approaches him with a large mallet she has borrowed. He begs and pleads for mercy until she leaves him to go visit with some of her other long dead friends.)

Jeez… I don't know where Lloyd got his wits from, but it sure wasn't her… (He cringes again in expectancy of another attack, but with none forthcoming, he relaxes) Speaking of that particular numbskull and his buddies, I've seen that there are two sides to this game, one where I die, and one where I don't.

Damnit Lloyd I am going to kill you whenever you get up here for letting them make me die like that!

Not only that, but it makes my big scene look like a total waste. You know, the big sentimental scene where I died? So not fair! It wouldn't be so bad if I could at least defend myself up here against these demonic… (Whispering) women, but no, I had to take my crystal out and tell Lloyd to destroy it… Yeah, I'm seriously gonna kill him, and I don't care what you people say about not being able to kill the dead.

They killed me… Just to have Lloyd's so called dad back in the picture… (He stops as he hears Anna infuriated call "Are you implying that I CHEATED on him!" He answers with a quick 'No' before sighing at the narrowly averted danger)

What I would do to be alive right now… Or at least with some way of defending myself… I don't even have my sword anymore… Something about 'No violence' or something. Yeah right. No violence my . They're only allowed because they're girls! How is that fair!

I'm seriously not feeling the love here. I go to see what all the pretty girls think of me in this other 'world' and I get nothin! It's always 'Kratos this' or 'Yuan that' or, even better, 'OMG They would look soooo cute together!'

I'm not gonna tell you just who they think would look 'cute together.' Your pretty, young, innocent minds don't want to know. It's scary, creepy, beyond impossible, and out and out scarring… (Zelos can now be seen shivering with anger marks popping out all over his face)

I'm not gay Damnit! Just because I wear pink and have long hair and talk weird does not mean I am gay! I thought that was made perfectly clear with all my hunnies!

(His ire temporarily calmed, he quickly looks around for the 'demonic women' to see if anyone heard his rant… Unfortunately for him, they were sitting only a few feet away and listening to his every word… He notes uneasily that they are staring at him with a strange and oddly evil look. He vacates the area as quickly as he can before continuing.)

The long hair thing isn't even my fault… The hairdresser back home was evil, some gaudy old man who is gayer than any of you weird people think I am… It had been my goal in life to kill the guy after shedding my title of chosen, but, unfortunately, the is still alive and kicking…

The pink thing was a family trait, so that wasn't my fault either really. Granted, I could have dyed my hair, but certain… complications got in the way… (Doesn't look like he's going to explain and moves on)

I still don't think it's fair that Red and Blue (Kratos and Yuan) get all the attention. I really don't see what's so special about 'em to attract all the girls like that…. And they don't even want 'em!

What is so special about them anyways? (Zelos starts going a little green as a horde of fangirl thoughts start unintentionally moving through his mind) ALL RIGHT I GET IT ALREADY! (Can now be seen shivering uncontrollably)

Ugh… I'm never going to ask anything like that again…. Some of them were more perverted than me at most times… and these were about _guys… _ Shudders ugh….

You people………..

Y….

I don't know what to say…. That was disgusting…

Let's move on shall we? (Bright but obviously strained smiley face may be inserted here)

……

…

Come on, there has to be _something _we haven't mentioned yet! We ain't going backwards, that's for sure…

Nothing? Nah, there probably's something, but to heck with it, I'm going to go see if any of my posse has died yet…

. 

Finished: July 28, 2006

Well, this one's pathetically short too, but I ran out of ideas again… though I'm sure we can count you all as dang lucky you got anything at all after last chapter…

I realize I should have just stayed away from the whole gay/hetro war, but I'm afraid I couldn't help but touch on it, as I've been getting increasingly annoyed as I stumble into stories that don't have warnings in their summaries…

I have nothing against it, it would just be appreciated if I knew what I was getting into… . 

So I'm afraid I'll just have to ask you to forgive me, those of you who like that kind of thing…

Though I have to admit, when I played the game and first met that chosen, my first thought was 'What the heck is a girl doing flirting with a whole bunch of other girls in this kind of game!'

I'm a bit wiser now though, though my parents would kill me if they ever saw some of the pictures I have of him and thought he was a girl… ; I think Sheena and Zelos make a cute couple…

Alright, I'm shutting up now, I'm just gonna make people mad if I keep talking…

See how dedicated I am, updating on my birthday? (Edit- Uploady thingy wasn't working on my B-day, so it gets up whenever I get around to it…) Yeah, I know no one cares, but still, I'm happy because of it.

IAWDWI signing off


	6. Mithos

Yeah, I know I said I was going to rewrite those old crappy chapters, but I was sniped by this idea.

Trying something a little different this time.

**Chapter Six: Mithos**

When the speakers came on above the crucix lounge area calling for me to report to the Grand Central Hall at once, I was worried. This sort of thing had happened before, with other crucix members, and I was extremely concerned for my health and happiness. See, no one ever comes out of the Grand Central Hall after a special meeting with The Great and Glorious Ruler of All Mithos. That's what we have to call him whenever he's within earshot. Don made the mistake of calling him just plain old Mithos in his presence once.

Poor poor Don. May his soul rest in a happy place filled with flowers and bunnies.

I'm Random Desian Guy number 436. My friends call me Bill.

I had considered making a run for it, but I figured my options were:

Run away and suffer the most horrible, painful and gory death you can imagine times 3, or

Be a good little Desian fool and hope for a quick and painless death.

Needless to say, I opted for plan B.

I was escorted to the overly large, ornately decorated gold doors that signified the Grand Central Hall.

I was kind of sad. They were serving decaf in the cafeteria today, and I'd been looking forward to it all week.

Upon entering, I noticed a few different things. One was that the room was very large. The other was that there was very little in it. A couch over in one corner, a bedside table in another, a chandelier, and a rug. There was at least ten feet between each object.

BANG!

Mithos stalked up and past me. I am ashamed to say that I paid more attention to the fact that he managed to slam a door twenty times his size, then on his imminent wrath.

Mithos paced across that rug at least a dozen times before he actually said anything. I could tell he was fuming. Organizing the words in his head so they came out the way he wanted them to, to provide the maximum effect on his audience. It's a pride thing. To have something not come out the way you want it to is punishable by some lackey's death.

Or he could be thinking up new ways to torture somebody. I don't know. I'm just a lackey.

When he finally did start talking, I kinda wish he hadn't.

"I swear upon my sisters rotting corpse that if I ever get images like that again, I will personally search them out and slaughter every last one of them!"

I decided at about this point that I had no idea what he was talking about, and thus stayed very very very quiet. You never interrupt Mithos when he's ranting, no matter how rare or what it may be about.

"I'll rip out their intestines and wrap it around their necks and hang them by it, I'll-" I also decided to take notes for John. He's into all sorts of weird torture methods like that. Personally, I never found it to my taste, but hey, each to their own.

He swore on Martel's grave a few more times (although I'm not sure about the Godess' elevation at the moment personally), named some more inventive torture methods (some of which I'm not sure are physically possible), proceeded to swear on Lord Yuan's Emo Flip (which does deserve capital letters), and ranted a bit more.

When he finally stopped to take breath -2 hours, 16 minutes and counting- I decided that I did actually want to know what was going on. He didn't even rant about his new age of lifeless beings this much.

"Umm… Sir?"

I know. I thought I was committing suicide at the time too.

He whirled around at me, as if he'd only just realized I was there. I kind of wished I'd kept my mouth shut now. I might've actually survived.

"What?" He snarled. He's very intimidating did you know that? You wouldn't think it with those rainbow wings of his, but he really is.

"Who… Are you talking about?" By now I had gathered that he was talking about a person or group of people. Now all I needed to know was who. Lord Mithos the Great and Wonderful (because I wouldn't put it past him to be able to read minds) grit his teeth and tried to explain it to me, the simple grunt without the brainpower to comprehend what he was saying anyways.

"I am _talking_ about the most fearful, powerful and terrifying beings in all these worlds. I am talking about a people who can warp your mind and commit you to their will in a matter of seconds. I'm TALKING about a race that can destroy every single atom in your puny little body and enjoy every moment of it. I'm talking about…"

He paused, I'm going to assume for drama.

".._Fangirls."_

He gave a great shudder, as though the word itself burned him. Personally, I didn't get it. Both Lord Yuan and Lord Kratos had quite a mass of Fangirls on both Tethe'alla and Syllverant. Surely Lord Mithos (the awesome and witty) can't be having that many problems with them.

Besides, what was all that about destroying people and subjecting them to their will? I thought Fangirls just worshiped the ground you walked on, not destroyed the world as we know it.

Ah, blissful ignorance.

"They know who I am, what I've done… Everything! I've never seen any of them anywhere, but they know! And they send me images… those _images…_" He wasn't talking to me anymore I think. He had a kind of haunted look to his eyes now that I was rather afraid of. "They've done such horrors… things not even _**I**_ would consider doing… and then they send me these images… these horrible horrible images…"

I stared in awe. Lord Mithos the Awesome and Almighty was shaking in his boots. Feathers were actually starting to fall off.

But then I started to wonder. Who was sending these 'images'? I knew we didn't have a mailbox because Number 798 (Toby) complained to me for weeks about how he couldn't get his magazines in because of our lack of one.

I didn't question what sort of magazine it was. With Toby, you never really want to know.

"..I can hear them.. Their every thought, every whim.. every disgusting detail of their horrible little fantasies…"

Well, that explained a lot. Apparently Lord Mithos the Amazing _could_ read minds!

Poor poor Mithos.

Oh look, I think he's crying now.

"T… t-the-ey t-think I-I'm… I'm…" Apparently it was too much for him, because he started destroying everything in sight. The rug was torn to shreds, the couch was hardly even firewood anymore, and that poor chandelier (expensive looking thing too) lay in pieces in very short order.

Unfortunately, everything includes me.

But that's okay. It's very nice up here where the dead people go. I should've come here _ages_ ago.

"More tea Mr. Bill?"

"Why thank-you Mrs. Anna."

"I should tell you about my boys. They're quite the handful, I hear they've been causing quite the havoc down with cruxis."

"Oh, well, I was lucky enough to avoid the situation entirely. See, the thing is…"

The best part about all this, up here, they have decaf!

Meanwhile, in a dark little room with no windows and an iron barred door, Mithos Yggdrassiel sits quietly in a corner, muttering to himself.

"Genis and I are not like that… Genis and I are not like that… Genis and I are not like that…"

**Inside the Game: End Chapter Six**

November 21, 2007

I got inspired. My English 20 is helping loads with 'How To Make A Half Decent Story'. I think I _might_ eventually rewrite the other chapters, but I might also get very lazy. Christmas is on its way after all (along with the usual stresses of presents, overeating, and a new one: Making Christmas cards for the relatives. I've no idea what to draw. This isn't fair. . )

Once again, The End unless a load more inspiration (and a nice review, as was the case with this one), and most importantly, inspiration hit me upside the head.

IAWDWI


End file.
